Laying the Foundations

Laying the Foundations is the first episode of the BBC television sitcom The Brittas Empire. It is the first episode of the first series.

Plot
Gordon Brittas talks to his wife Helen as he prepares to leave and start his new job as manager of Whitbury New Town leisure centre, but, before he leaves he discovers there is another child in the garden who is not his or Helen's, she tells him that this boy is probably from next door who came through a whole in the fence.

Helen watches as Gordon then steps into the garden and interrupts the boys' cricket game to say goodbye but gets hit with a cricket bat when he shows the boys how to improve their game. He then confiscates the neighbour's bat just as the boy's mother Pam arrives. Unaware she's his mother Gordon says the boy is an unpleasant child and he would nail something on the hole in the wall. When Pam asks for her child's bat Gordon realises his mistake. Gordon then says that he will be inviting 30 members of staff round and then he departs. Helen then apologises and offers Pam a strong drink. Helen then begins to explain to Pam about Gordon.

Gordon arrives at the leisure centre where the builders are hard at work. Brittas stops to tell one of the builders who threw his cigarette packet on the floor that he should place it in one of the bins, he then tells the builder that he needs more sand in the cement mixer. As Brittas enters the building he arrives to see the receptionist Carole Parkinson in tears, however he tells Carole that the face she presents to the public is very important and says she should smile and say how can I help you? to welcome the public. As Brittas leaves for his office, Linda Perkins a trainer and attendant and Angie the secretary come out of the staff room and give Carol a cup of coffee, Brittas then explains that cups of coffee can leave stains and requests that it should be removed from reception, despite Lind and Angie's best efforts to explain how Carole's Husband moved to Spain with her best friend and that she has postnatal depression from the baby she had three weeks ago. After a debate Brittas leaves and Angie takes the aspirin which was originally for Carole.

Inside the manager's office is deputy manager dry, Laura Lancing. She is walking around and sees a couple of the builders holding a debate. Then there's a knock on the door and the deputy manager wet, Colin Wetherby steps in, he introduces himself and denies the offer of a coffee. Then Brittas arrives saying he's late due to a crisis in reception. During the introductions Brittas reveals that Colin has two physical education degrees and a diploma in physical studies, and goes on to reveal he is an advance homeopathy counsellor, a trained yoga teacher and the author of a pamphlet on how to achieve peak fitness in three weeks. Laura then sees more builders are joining the debate outside. However she continues to join the conference inside, she produces her staff's time table and Brittas says that she should have used a method to organise it. Then a lady enters the office who is ordered by Brittas to wait outside, he soon reverses this decision when it is revealed to be Councillor Dapping head of the borough recreation commity. Dapping reveals that one of the staff (unaware it's Brittas) was rude to a builder and they've gone on strike.

Back in reception Carole is on the phone to her mother explaining that Derek, her ex-husband has not been paying the mortgage. Brittas and Colin enter the main doors with shovels which they confisgated from the builders. Colin is then ordered to go back out to the builders and explain what they're expected to do. Brittas goes into the staff room to tell the staff the meeting will be postponed. Angie then goes to take three cups of coffee upstairs but then goes over to Carole who is upset and the coffee cups are placed on the desk which prompts Brittas to go there and remind Angie about the decision made earlier, but before he can finish Angie pours the coffee on the floor so there's no coffee in them and storms off, Brittas tells Carole to organise someone to clear it up. Brittas then enters the staff room, postpones the meeting but he does produce the staff roster, which is worrying for Neil Petting as he is their to teach table tennis but is down to assist in the pool which is a problem as he can't swim. Brittas says he'll have to do the pool untill further notice as table tennis is a waste of money and resources. Tim Whistler tries to change his free periods with Linda and Gavin Featherly his partner, but Brittas refuse to change the timetable. Brittas then calls for a Damien Barker and explains that he is not down for pool duties as he has a sexually transmitted disease, Damien gets angry exclaiming he has not got any sexually transmitted diseases which causes everyone to look as Brittas double checks and realises he's got the wrong person and proceeds to call for Nigel Redcliff who was then embarrassed. Out in reception Carole tries to get help from her lanlord as the cleaner starts work on the coffee on the floor but as she goes to get more equipment Brittas stops her and orders her to stay but after an argument she tells Brittas she's leaving.

In Brittas' office counsillor Dapping explains to Laura the Brittas wasn't what she was expecting and that she was away when he was chosen but he did an excellent interview and had a good reference. Laura says he will probably be better once he knows everyone, but this is not looking likely as Brittas enters saying it's chaos out there as Colin has been hit by a shovel and one of his staff has wired himself up to the emergency lighting circuit. Brittas then explains to Dapping that Colin might have had all those references as his previous employer wanted to get rid of him, and Dapping realises this is what happened to Brittas. Laura says that the cleaner and her husband, the heating engineer have gone for good.

Down in the gym there is a lot of staff missing which Laura explains they have resigned, so Brittas starts the meeting, during which he reveals his dream and loses another staff members when he produces a poor joke against the Irish. As he continue specially sharpened table tennis bats start to fly past him and land in the table it is revealed to be Neil who is above them, as well as bats he drops a table tennis table on the meeting table. Then the builders turn up seeking Brittas who goes through the OHP screen which falls on him.

Back at Brittas' house Helen has finished talking about Gordon to Pam. Pam then offers help to organise the house for the staff who are coming back. Helen opens the freexer and produces platters of sandwhiches which were made in June 1985, Helen always produces these as they're never needed as people never eat them. As Brittas arrives he apologises to Helen about the staff not coming and says that the tomatoes on the table are manky and says they shouldn't go to the same place again, this is embarrasing for Helen as they were a gift from Pam. As Pam leaves Brittas returns from upstairs with a confiscated teddy bear as Jonathan was using it innapropriately. Brittas then tells Helen he is going to fix the car, and as he opens the car door it is revealed to be full of cement.